


Sure.

by Iamkindagay



Series: Sure. [1]
Category: Gintama
Genre: ? - Freeform, Additional Warning in Summary, Aliens, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Drunken Kissing, Drunkenness, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Growing Up Together, Healthy Relationships, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Bad At Tagging, Kinda, Mutual Pining, Past Child Abuse, Slow Burn, Time Skips, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-18 22:53:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29741109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iamkindagay/pseuds/Iamkindagay
Summary: To her, he seems bright like a sun. So bright that momentarily makes her forget her past wrongs, momentarily makes everything seem so possible. Mutsu knows. She can't stand next to him or want him. She can't look directly into the sun.But for Sakamoto, the story is different. He does not want to take advantage of Mutsu's self-deprecation, of her, trying to prove herself. He knows he is not good enough.----So basically me, writing out my Healthy Adult Relationship kink. Two dorks thinking they are not good enough for one another. I hope you like it.Warning: The next chapters are gonna tackle some serious issues like underage sexual abuse. It is not gonna be written out, just mentioned.Also Spoiler Warning: The second chapter has spoilers about Kaientai Arc(I’m gonna proof read it soon I promise 😣😣😣😣,,,, I am very busy and writing this on one sitting in my free time, so there may be repetetive words/incorrect grammar. You can always point out stuff!!! It will help the writing!!!)
Relationships: Mutsu/Sakamoto Tatsuma
Series: Sure. [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2185884
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	1. Chapter 1

Mutsu looked around the room, eyes unfocused, mind hazy, she was looking for someone. She tipped her head back and drank the rest of her cocktail. She stopped counting how many she drank a while ago. He was nowhere to be found. Disappointing.  
She stumbled across the room, got out of the mess and loudness of the party. She shouldn’t have taken her cape off, the hallways of the ship were always super cold. But the heat of alcohol kept her going, so she started roaming around, continuing her search.  
\--  
Sakamoto was in the narrow hallway that led to his room when Mutsu found him.  
“Hey you”, she yelled “Leaving my birthday early? You must have some g-” ouch ‘-uts to be this disrespectful.” she bit her tongue.  
“Ahaha” Sakamoto replied, “At least one of the captains has to wake up early, right?”  
“Bullshit,” said Mutsu, before he even finished his sentence.  
Sakamoto’s smile grew bigger. I guess there is no lying to her. The truth is, he probably was just running away.  
Mutsu took a couple of steps, shortening the distance between them.  
She was off… Throughout the party. Their interactions were a bit different during it. Sakamoto took a couple backward. thud. The dead end. She closed the remaining distance.  
Sakamoto could see her more clearly now in the darkness. Her clothes and hair a mess, her cheeks red with alcohol, contrasting with her snow pale skin. She put one on her hands to the wall above his shoulder and leaned up to his face. She was so close now that he could feel the breath coming from her mouth, the smell of liquor burning his nose. His breath was getting quicker, but he was frozen in his place.  
Her unfocused eyes traced his face, first stopped at his lips, then went up to his eyes. She locked eyes with him through her heavy eyelids, licked her already shiny lips,  
This is dangerous, he thought: as she got on her toes to reach his lips.  
She connected their lips and pushed her tongue to get him to open his. Put one hand to Sakamoto’s collar, pushing the fabric down. Her hands were cold against the heat of his chest. But he pulled his head back.

“Mutsu, what are you doing?” Sakamoto asked calmly.  
She looked confused, angry, hurt. He put his hands on her shoulder, petting her to try to calm her down.  
“I’m eighteen,” she said as if to try to remind Sakamoto. Pushing her body against his.  
“You just turned eighteen”, he reminded.  
“And you are just twenty.” she bit back.  
“You are drunk, Mutsu.” he shut her back. “I just… Don’t want you to act on an impulse and regret it later.”  
“Oh my god,” she said unbelievably, “do you think I am a kid?”  
“No, Mutsu: Do you think I would let a kid be the Vice-Captain of my ship?” he responded firmly. “If you are a kid, what does that make me?”  
The hallway fell silent. They heard some footsteps going across the main halls. Mutsu stood frozen in her place. After the sounds were far away, Sakamoto continued:  
“I just don’t want to take advantage of you,” he whispered.  
Mutsu felt sobered up. She slapped his hands from her shoulders in anger. “I misunderstood the situation, I’m sorry,” she said in a voice even colder than usual. Turned around and stomped out of the hallway.

Sakamoto released the breath he was holding for a while now. Took a deep new one. He ran his hand on his face. Rested his palm on his eyes. The images of her flushed face coming to his vision. Then a worry came to his mind; what if she went out to find someone else in the ship? “Fuck.” he muttered to himself, trying to brush the idea off his head. She looked pretty sober when leaving, right? Right? 

He let out a sigh and he dug his pockets to find his card key. Then he turned around and unlocked his door. He didn’t even bother turning on the lights, he just shed the layers of his clothes and threw himself on his bed face first. 

He shut his eyes and tried to focus on sleeping as he pushed away whatever happened just now from his mind.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content Warning: Descriptions of sexual assault to a minor.
> 
> It is not explicit or not too descriptive.
> 
> Also: Kaientai Arc Spoilers ahead

Mutsu always walked with her chin propped up around the ship. She held her head up, with the straightest posture, with high heeled boots and a furred coat. She had to stand tall, look serious. She saw how all that Amanto snickered when her father left her in charge of the ship. ”Look, at that little princess,” they were whispering, salivating in their mouth, “She looks tasty.” Disgusting. She soon sent whoever was laughing off the ship to the endless space. She wasn’t raised to be a “little princess”, she was raised to be a pirate. But left here to take charge, alone, away from everyone. That’s how most Yato families worked, right? Not much room for familial love and spoiling.

Well, the ship wasn’t that great either. Sure, she was respected for being her father’s daughter. But she felt how condescending the way they talked to her was. A bunch of animals, she thought, as they comically bend down when talking to her "to be able to hear her". She didn’t hesitate to punish them if she thought they crossed the line. But that wasn’t necessary all the time. She was an adult, more than all these Amanto that acted like rowdy boys. 

\--

Thinking about it now made Mutsu hurt a little bit. She took off her old coat and her boots from her closet. Sat on her bed, tried them on. They were all so small. Mutsu could see behind her eyelids, how she would stand straight in front of her mirror, fix her clothes as clean, keep her haircut as fresh and sharp as possible. She felt more sure of herself then than she ever felt. Though being 24, ten years after those years, she could see the cracks in her act.

Trying to hold up a respectful conversation with Umibouzu, even though she wanted to leave her seat and get as close as him as possible “Tell me more about the universe.” The childhood wonder that was probably shining off of her eyes- that Umibouzu most definitely picked up on. 

The cruelty she had for others and for herself just to keep up appearances now was glaringly obvious to her. Even though she would probably be pushed off the ship if she said this to Young Mutsu at the time. 

She thought she had it all figured it out. Until Sakamoto came in and shook all she thought was the truth (not that she was ever going to say this out loud to him). She was ready to die off right then, to save the humans she had captured. It felt just, after all the pain she had caused. But they didn’t let her. Sakamoto didn’t. She is always going to think he is very stupid for that decision, but that was the kind of person that he was. Always smiling brightly, never judging. Always with a kind and determined look. And so, so, SO stupid.

Old habits die hard, she still caught herself playing a role. The vice-captain of the ship, Razor Lieutenant. Serious and uncaring. Again, if she could stop the time, she would leave her seat and go up in his face. Walk in circles around him, examine his wide smile, square chin, run a finger across his stubbles. Across the scar on his hand. Breath in the smell of soap on his skin. Ruffle his hair, get it all mixed, so when she sits back down to her chair and time runs again he would be all confused.

She probably could do it right now and he probably would be surprised first, but go along with it. See what she is up to, and wouldn’t let her live it down ever again. Or he would’ve acted like nothing ever happened to save her the embarrassment, just like he did after that birthday party of hers. The last party before Mutsu banned alcoholic drinks on sight. Oh god, it hurt her head to think about it. 

But she didn’t feel like she could reach up that high. Not physically, he was always on her punch-range. She felt like she wasn’t allowed to caress him that delicately. He, despite all his pervert tendencies and the grimy situations she saves him from, still seems so much lighter. Cleaner. Brighter. Still felt so much like a kid. Holding onto his hope and happiness. Not letting his past weigh him down. Mutsu couldn’t find her childhood, couldn’t remember it. It's almost like she strangled that childhood with her own hands. Put it away. To be never seen again. And now she couldn’t find it.

\--

Now looking at it, she was desperate to prove how adult she was. To herself, and to everyone that would dare to question. She wasn’t naive. She had heard what people said about her behind her back. The ugly comments they made about her body and the fantasies they would share with one another to make fun of her. Dumb aliens. She thought to herself, bored. This is why you can only get laid in brothels- that is if you behave enough to not be kicked out of the establishment. 

She didn’t have interest in any of it, to be honest. But she thought it may be a natural progression of growing up. Of being women. If she figured it out, it would just turn into one another thing that she could look past or stop worrying about.

That’s when they went there. The planet was colonized by the only other habited planet of their solar system. Chidori's client was the leader of one of the colonizer communities. The Amanto had purple skin, a big body, and four arms. The old man's looks were foreign to Mutsu at first. But his eyes looked smart, calculated. “He is different from the Amantos in my crew,” she thought soon after they met. He looked interested in Mutsu, not in a mocking manner. He held up conversations with Mutsu, asked questions to her. He was around his thirties, but she didn’t mind. He was treating Mutsu with the seriousness that she secretly was desperate for. She was put into this position that she didn’t ask for, and she was stretching herself too thin to fill it.

During their stay on the planet, he would visit the ship every day, at first at least. He would look around, make sure the transaction goes well, “quality check” the health of the slaves, and at the very end, find Mutsu and talk with her. He didn’t have to do any of those by himself. His relation to the ship could’ve just ended as soon as he signed the contract and left the rest of the work to his subordinates. But he still came. To see Mutsu. 

It was probably after a couple of visits, he invited her out. She remembered it was fun at first. He showed her around, it had been a while since Mutsu walked around on a planet. The natural air filling her lungs, the suns tingling on her skin, it was all so exciting. Again, the same childish excitement she held all in, the shine of her eyes probably betraying her intended role. 

The trip was around a ranch, looking at the different animal and plant species. And it ended in the house. She left that childhood wonder outside, with all the plants and animals. Mutsu never thought that the guy was all inconsiderate, she had to believe that he still cared for some capacity. Even if it was a short-lived attraction, believing that it was some sort of a mutual, consensual transaction would be the thing that kept her going in the months to come. 

But it hurt. And at that moment he didn’t care about that at all. He held her down as she asked him to slow down or stop and let her go and acted like she was into it as she bit her lips till it bled to shut up. 

He kept being nice afterward. Took care of her, and showed her more places till he dropped her off back at the ship. However, she wasn’t interested anymore. The natural air burnt her nose and the sun on her skin was annoying. 

Mutsu always felt like she strangled her childhood and buried it away by herself. Her stoic attitude became her nature. She went back to her room that day and slept the rest of the day. When she woke up the next day, somewhat still hoping to see the guy a couple more days till the ship takes off. But this time it was one of his subordinates that came to check things around.

She didn’t see him after ever again. And she didn’t go out to see any planet they had business with ever again. Never leaving the ship that she had power over. Until she met Sakamoto.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think!


End file.
